A sovereign remedy

1 November 2011 § 3 Comments

A Charm Against Ye Knavish Trick-or-Treaters

Attend ye, this All Hallows’ Eve,
Heed my warning: take thy leave,
Get ye hence, touch not this door,
Retrace thy steps, disturb no more
Our sweet repose at close of day.
Thou art not welcome, go thy way.
Thy witch’s hat and monster mask
Shall not avail thee: prithee ask
Not here for toothsome snacks or sweets –
Demand elsewhere thy tricks or treats.
For in this house a creature lies
With sharp white teeth and burning eyes.
Flee while ye may, rouse not his wrath
And take again thy homeward path.
Be ye not heard, be ye not seen
Within our bounds this Hallowe’en.

Rather than my usual grumpy offering, I posted this on the front door last night to ward off the regrettable American import that’s usurped our native All Hallows’ Eve traditions. I’m pleased to say it proved 100% effective!

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§ 3 Responses to A sovereign remedy

  • Ina says:

    Hi Nick

    So no treats for those poor kids that go out of the comfort of their central heated homes, leavng their online games and wifi, to go find some candy… You are very harsh!

    I like the poem though. It sounds authentically old! I am glad the creature has white teeth. This means it does brush twice a day!

    So how is All Hallow’s Eve spent in the traditional English manner?

    We have Sint Maarten on 11 november, where children go door to door with self made lanterns, singing special Saint Martin songs to get sweets.. Ancient tradition (catholic but that never was an issue, and it is probably based on older customs) It is kind of fun 🙂 One year I forgot to buy sweets, so I gave them fruit and a coin. They rather have sweets.


  • Narnie says:

    Blimey, yes! They would have been terrified of you, haha. I just close the curtains and turn off all the lights while my kids are out trick and treating other people… I know, so wrong, so wrong but needs must. This should be a classic.

  • twilark says:

    I like the style of this poem. It really fits in with the old tradition of Halloween.

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